Wednesday 11 April 2007

Emotionally Down

I'm really immensely stressed and depressed now. There are a few things which leads to it:

  1. the deterioration of my studies (main reason);
  2. the feeling of guilt I have towards my dear friend who has just left to Birmingham;
  3. wee bit of peer pressure;
  4. lack of sleep;
  5. surviving on only 1 meal a day;
  6. some other reasons I would not want to mention because it may lead to unnecessary emotional posts
I'm no longer the boisterous, gleeful, confident, positive and joyous person people use to know. I am extremely pessimistic, gloomy, sensitive and incompetent at present. My goal in university and life seemed to be very vague in mind.

But, why? Why would all of these things happen simultaneously; at the time when I really needed extra confidence and motivation to do my work? The expectation of me to do well is just SO great! (from both my parents and sponsor) Seriously. I know the phrase "Just Do Your Best" sounds convincing. People keep telling me that "You'll do great, don't worry!"

I mean, it's really very sweet of them to have the confidence in me; but how would anyone know how well I will do? Honestly, no one knows how terrible my state is at present. I know myself best. And, I'm definitely sure that I'm NOT fine.

I really need to calm down. Was supposed to at least finish studying Digital Electronics by now, but I'm still staring stagnantly at the same page for hours. I seriously don't know what I shall do. I'm sad and lost.

8 comments:

Vi Vian said...

Be strong Heng Kai. You're not alone..Take care

Cheng Chun said...

Kai, I'm really sorry that I haven't been there... I should have been there when you needed someone... Don't worry ok... Every thing will go as plan... Stay calm which you always do...

Unknown said...

Hey..Irene here.Hopefully you feel alright by now.I felt the same way too in the first semester.My GPA is way low compared to my fellow coursemates.So,just remember to relax and get enough sleep.Good luck!

sp said...

Get some rest then u can focus better kay :)

When u cant concentrate anymore take a break... like take a walk, play piano or something... then u can keep going. it really helps :)

Anonymous said...

it's just one of those momentarily phase. this will pass... =) Take it as it comes, hk.

Ken said...

Hallo... just hang on man, you'll be fine in the end. Don't beat yourself up over not studying a great deal, it's not always prudent to force it :)

Smile and let the sunshine lift you.

Aimi said...

dont be stressed heng kai!!

If I could, I would do all ur work for you and give u a huuuuge hug!!! =(

I know I saw u the other day, but any more breakdowns will make matters worse.. all u can do is grit ur teeth and do the best you can to make ur situation better.

take care of urself okay??

x

Anonymous said...

Be strong mate..
Don't let the pressure get the better of you.
Wish you all the best and take good care of yourself.